The Guardian Magazine, September 2000

The questionnaire

Fiona Banner

Compiled by Rosanna Greenstreet
Saturday September 2, 2000

The artist Fiona Banner was born in 1966 in Merseyside. She is best known for her 'wordscapes', in which she handwrites films from memory. Her 1,000-page text flick-book, The Nam, is made up of descriptions of six Vietnam war films. She has shown extensively across Europe and the US, at London's Tate and Hayward galleries, and at the Venice Biennale. Her work appears in Centre Of Attention magazine, a new limited-edition art publication. She is single and lives in east London.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Total freedom.

What is your greatest fear?
No freedom.

Which living person do you most admire?
Bob Dylan. He reinvented the love song.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Messiness.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Boringness.

What has been your most embarrassing moment?
Killing a small dog on my bicycle - its lead got caught in my wheels.

What vehicles do you own?
Very old red Nissan Patrol jeep, blue racing bike.

What is your greatest extravagance?
Losing things.

What objects do you always carry with you?
Swimming costume, mobile phone, book, lap dog, unsent letters .

What makes you depressed?
Queuing.

What is your most unappealing habit?
Snitching. Snatching. Stealing. Spitting in the street.

What is your favourite word?
Ricochet, spunk, daffodil.

What is your favourite fantasy?
Coo wee, wkjfregnb naeebvdefbjcbh gcxj twrtqdcsweie - that's in code.

Should the Royal Family be scrapped ?
They're doing it for themselves.

Do you believe in monogamy?
Serial.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Confidence.

How often do you have sex?
Twice a day. More at weekends.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
A doppelgänger.

How would you like to die?
Airplane crash.

Do you believe in life after death?
Yes.

How would you like to be remembered?
As someone who could express love.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Don't shit on your own doorstep.